The day begins with an hour and a half movement lesson. This can incorporate aspects of yoga, aerobics, stretching, playing with sticks and balls, dancing and acrobatics. My handstand is improving daily but my backflip still requires assistance. We have a separate movement teacher and they will alternate with each course.
After a fifteen minute break we move onto the focus of the day - 'Philippe'. Philippe Gaulier is a large, hairy old Frenchman who wears a beret and carries a drum and stick. We begin every lesson with a game of 'Balthazar Says' (better known as 'Simon Says'). If you make a mistake you must ask one of your classmates for a kiss. If they refuse you head to the front of the class for 'torture' which involves Philippe putting you in an arm-lock, pinching your back and giving you a Chinese burn. The rest of the lesson is unpredictable but always terrifying. You will often not even have time to begin an exercise before Philippe bangs his drum and tells you to sit down because you are 'fucking boring'. If he allows you to continue for a while it is usually to give him time to tailor a more intricate insult: 'after seeing this exercise I kill all of you - no problem at all... gladly' and then, one by one, 'I want to feed you to - how you say? nash, nash, nash - piranhas' along with other more elaborate forms of death and punishment.
The year began with four weeks of 'Le Jeu' ('the game') and has now moved on to 'Neutral Mask'. We have been 'exploring' our way through the elements on the floor with our bodies. We started with Water, Fire, Earth and Air. We spent an afternoon being a tree. Most recently Philippe made us be oil which he slowly heated to boiling point at which stage he added the potato chips with a bang on his drum, creating a floor of spasming, fitting grown-ups. I have grazes on my wrists and knees from an over-zealous commitment to Hydrochloric acid.
My classmates are a motley crew of internationals which always makes things fun and despite, or perhaps because of, his methods I am finding the experience passionnant, enthousiasmant et vivifiant (trans. exciting, inspiring and invigorating).
2 comments:
Dear Richard, I loved your blog - found it passionant, enthousiasment et vivifiant - not to mention very funny - could that be humoreusement - alas someone has taken our French dictionary! I hadn't pictured Philippe as big and hairy, thought wiry and decayed, but of course beret was obvious and drum and stick fits in once you describe the torture. It is a little hard to picture actual grownups doing what you describe, but also a tad jealous-making! Well not for me, now, but once. I guess it's good to learn to be mocked and to have to extend yourself so much. Had a lot of fun with the photos - would be good party game (not perhaps for you!) trying to decide which was which. It took a lot of close study (much more fun than anything else I had planned for the day like ironing for instance). I concluded that Earth left rather too much to the imagination but water and fire good - can't remember air but perhaps that's a good sign! ha ha! Have thought of good party game for YOU - making everybody else do them!
Anyway great to hear about your riveting course and the fact that you are enjoying it so much. I hope we will hear more! Jude
I rather like EARTH. It seems to have an air of Richard about it...
I can't believe he gives you Chinese burns!!
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